Don’t Look Now But

Messrs Gates, Crowley and Obama fell afoul a cabal of secret watchers. That “elderly lady without a cellphone” is well known to experienced Cambridge residents. These spinsters and widows lurk behind lace curtains and keep an eye on everything. Much of Cambridge consists of small detached houses set cheek by jowl next to each other, often less than twenty feet apart. Typically they have bay windows in front, ideal for secretly watching the events up and down the block. One of the rules for walking through Cambridge is to avoid at all costs being molested by one of these busybodies. Trust me; you don’t need the grief — whatever her problem is. No good deed goes unpunished.

Question: why didn’t this “neighbor” go into her home, doubtless nearby, and call the cops on her own landline?

 

Answer: the cops are tired of talking to her. Their caller-ID has her number flagged for “get the old bat off the line immediately.”

They outlive their families and husbands and brothers and inherit the house; they live into their nineties no problemo. I surmise this “kindly” person knew Gates, and had identified him that very day as the rightful dweller at that residence. I further surmise that she has yet to get over her shock that Harvard would rent the house (she knows who owns it) to a man of color. She is in fact more than likely the neighborhood bigot who bemoans how “those people” have run down the town.

It is even possible that the two have exchanged less than neighborly words. Suppose that, when she saw him get out of the car and have trouble with his front door, it was like Christmas-come-early for her. Knowing Gates would flip out at the sight of a cop on his front porch, she was out on the sidewalk in a flash, and lo and behold here comes poor Mrs. Whalen, who probably prides herself on always seeing “the good in people.” It was all over very quickly. She’s back at her post now, behind the curtains. No rest for the weary.

There’s a lot of claptrap being published as to how that call to the cops was the right thing to do. No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t any of Mrs. Whalen’s business. It was broad daylight. Heck, breaking and entering isn’t even a felony if it’s still daylight.

In a city like Cambridge you don’t want to talk to the cops. They don’t need your help. They have their hands full as it is. Think about it. Go your own way on the streets of Cambridge. Focus on arriving at your destination in one piece. That’s your job. Keep on walking. Trust me.